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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Stoner Cookies and Why I'm Okay With Being So Damn Short


Over this last weekend my brother, George, raced yet another Ironman at Panama City Beach and lived to tell the tale. He placed fourth in his age group so many congratulations are in order (and also: what are you trying to prove??)! My parents accompanied him on this journey so my other brother, Beau, and I had free reign of the house, and we (I) spent all of sunday tearing apart the kitchen and then we (Beau) cleaned it all up. All of that just to make these cookies:


You can pretty much already tell it was worth an entire day's effort. These cookies are an adaptation of Peabody's Chubby Hubby Cookies, which she calls "stoner food," hence: Stoner Cookies. I can't call my adaptation "Chubby Hubby Cookies" because they aren't the greatest representation of Ben&Jerry's Chubby Hubby Ice Cream (fun fact: my mom and aunt were friends with Ben and Jerry growing up!) which is "Fudge Covered Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels in Vanilla Malt Ice Cream Rippled with Fudge & Peanut Butter" (that's straight from the website). Why, you ask, are my cookies not the greatest representation of this ice cream? Two reasons. One: my grocery store stocks the plain malted milk powder at the very back of the top shelf, and I am all of five-foot-one which isn't even remotely tall enough to reach that and no tall people were around; the chocolate malted milk powder, however, was right in the front, easily accessible to my short-person hands. I am perfectly alright with this though because the chocolate malted milk cookies were delicious. And two: I couldn't find peanut butter filled pretzels for the life of me so I just bought regular ones.

Chocolate Malted Milk Cookies:

4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup chocolate malted milk powder
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, malt, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, beat the butter and sugars together until light and fluffy. Scrape down the bowl and add the eggs, one at a time, beating until each is incorporated. Add the sour cream and vanilla and beat until just incorporated. Add half of the dry ingredients all at once and mix until almost combined. Add the remaining dry ingredients and mix until just incorporated. Cover the dough with saran wrap and stick the bowl in the fridge for at least long enough to watch most of Evil Dead and two episodes of Weeds (these are Stoner Cookies, after all), approximately 2 1/2 hours.
Preheat the oven to 350F and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
Using a cookie scoop or a spoon, scoop about 1 tablespoon of dough at a time. Roll into a ball and place on cookie sheet, keeping about 2 inches of space between each dough ball.
Bake the cookies for 9-12 minutes or until they are slightly browned. (12 minutes for a crispy cookie, 9-10 minutes for a chewy one.) Allow the cookies to cool on the pan for a few minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Peanut Butter Filling:
4 ounces vegetable shortening, at room temperature
3/4 cup natural peanut butter (natural peanut butter is important! the water content is higher or something which keeps the dough from being too dry. you can use Jif like I did if you don't have natural peanut butter, but you'll have to double the amount of pb used)
3 1/4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract

In a large bowl, beat the shortening and peanut butter until smooth. Add the sugar in three parts, mixing after each addition. Add the salt and vanilla and beat for 10 seconds. The filling should be thick but spreadable. You can add a few drops of water here and there if it’s too thick.
Using a small spoon or a 2-tablespoon cookie scoop, spoon the filling onto the flat side of one cookie. Place another cookie, flat side down, on top and press down slightly so the filling spreads to the edges of the cookie.

Milk Chocolate and Pretzel Coating
12 ounces milk chocolate
2 tablespoons vegetable shortening
12 ounces pretzels (or peanut butter filled pretzels), crushed

In a double boiler, combine chocolate and shortening. Stir until chocolate is completely melted and smooth, then remove top bowl from double boiler. Dip each cookie into the chocolate and immediately roll in crushed pretzels. Place on waxed paper to harden.


Let Klaus quell any doubts you may have about these cookies:

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Happy Quarter Century, Brother!


Yesterday my oldest brother turned a little older, and he being the wise man that he is requested Carrot Cake Cheesecake for dessert. After unsuccessfully looking for a recipe online, I took a leaf out of my mom's book, said screw it, and just assembled a recipe myself based on my go-to carrot cake and cheesecake recipes. It goes a little something like this:

Cheesecake
adapted from McCall's Best Cheesecake to make the Carrot Cake Cheesecake AND another little cheesecake, so if you don't want an extra cheesecake, divide this in half-ish (but come on, who doesn't want extra cheesecake?)

2 lbs cream cheese (that's 4 8oz packages), room temperature
5 eggs
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/3 cup sugar
pinch salt

Beat the cream cheese in a large bowl until creamy. Add eggs, vanilla, sugar, and salt and continue beating until thoroughly combined. If you're making an extra cheesecake, pour half the batter into a graham cracker crust (homemade or storebought, whatever fancies you) and bake in a preheated to 375F oven for 30-35 minutes. Set the rest of the batter aside to make the carrot cake.

Carrot Cake

1 cup sugar
3 eggs
3/4 cup oil, plain greek yogurt, or a mixture of the two
1 1/4 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/4 cup sweetened shredded coconut
3/4 cup apple, finely chopped
1 1/2 cups carrot, grated

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Beat sugar and egg together, then slowly add oil/yogurt. In a separate bowl, combine flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and ginger, then sift over sugar mixture. Mix until mostly combined, then add walnuts, coconut, apple, and carrot and mix together. Grease and flour a 9 in springform pan, then place pan inside a bigger, shallow pan. This is not for a water bath! It's to contain the goopy, drippy carrot cake batter that will inevitably seep out the bottom of the pan, catching your oven on fire without something to catch it. I'm not speaking from experience... just offering foresight. Yeahhh... Anyway, pour your carrot cake batter into the springform pan, then spoon the cheesecake batter on top of that and spread it evenly. Put the whole thing in the oven and set your timer to 40-45 minutes. Make sure the top of the cheesecake doesn't get too brown as this is a sign of overbaking, oh no! When your timer alerts you that the cake is done, remove it (the cake, not the timer) from the oven and put it somewhere to cool down. Once the cake is room temperature, put the whole thing in the fridge. If you accidentally leave it uncovered and become worried that the top has dried out too much (again, not speaking from experience, merely foresight), make this topping:

6 oz cream cheese
4 oz sour cream
1/8-1/4 cup sugar, depending on preference
pinch salt
2-3 tablespoons whiskey/bourbon/whatever alcohol tastes best to you, OR 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Cream the cream cheese and sour cream together, then add the sugar, salt, and alcohol and beat until thoroughly combined. Taste the topping and adjust as needed. Use a knife to go around the edges of the cake to loosen the sides from the pan, then dump the topping atop the cake and smooth with the back of a spoon because a knife would never work at this angle. When you're ready to serve, remove the side of the pan and you're good to go. Store covered in the fridge.


And here's what your extra cheesecake might look like, assuming you made one and then took a crappy cell phone picture of it: